Saturday, October 26, 2013

Where Have All the Young Boys Gone?

Asalamu Alaykom,

When he was four, I bought him Spiderman and Buzz Lightyear costumes.

He out grew them.

When he was six, I bought him Transformers and Power Rangers costumes.

After two years, he hadn't quite out grown them.

When he was eight, I didn't need to buy him anything.

"I want a new costume for the party," he requested.

"You have two great costumes you could wear," I reminded him.

"I want something different," he explained.

For a second, I tried to envision which new superhero he was dreaming of.

"I want a man suit," he told me.

I tried to compute this strange new information.

"A man suit?  Like with a shirt and tie?" I asked.

"Yes!  I want to look like a man."

I wasn't ready for that kind of transformation yet.

For a week, I deflected his questions regarding it.

"We don't have time to go shopping."

"I don't want to spend all that money."

"You already have costumes!"

All of those reasons were legitimate but the truth is that I still needed to have a boy.  He's my baby.  While I have been guiding him into being a responsible and independent person, I'm not able to release him into the world of men.  He's eight!

The night before the party, I went into his room to put together a costume of my own.  I grabbed his old pirate hat and hook.  I couldn't find the eye patch which I really wanted to wear just like Marie Colvin.  I found his pretend knife which he had insisted on buying with his own money; he had also insisted on coloring the plastic blade with a red marker.  I was going to be a pirate...a teacher pirate.


Well, after he learned that there would be no man suit this week, he finally agreed to try on his other two options.  He settled on the red Power Ranger---but without the mask.  I let down the hems that I had once had to tack up.  His arms and legs had grown mashahallah.

On Thursday the party was held after school.  I helped him into his costume; helped a few girls as well.  My boy and his friends posed for pictures.  They were so happy and excited.  They ran out to have fun on the trampoline; my boy's cape flew up and down with every jump.  I watched him with a huge smile on my face and video taped him.  I don't often video tape but I had a new understanding of how temporary this moment was.

The three boys waited in line anxiously for the haunted house.  One chickened out---but it wasn't my son.  At the end of their adventure with the scary seniors, the two survivors ran out with declarations of how brave they'd been.

"They tried their best but it wasn't that scary!"

I was so glad to get my boy back---my boy the Power Ranger

...for now.


Marie Harmony said...

Our kids grow fast but till they are old enough to be young men and women, they are kids. Sometime I feel the society wants them to be bigger than they are and act as grown-ups. But let our kids be only kids! They will thank us one day.
Hope all is well Yosra. Much love from France to you and your family.

Hebah Dwidari said...

I do not understand the need to copy the traditions of devil worshipers when you claim to be such a good muslim, at least through your posts.

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom Marie,

Nice to think of "our" kids. You and I will quietly change the world (hopefully for the better) through those kids.

Alhumdulillah for everything.

Thanks for the French love :)

Here's some right back at you from Egypt!

Asalamu Alaykom Hebah,

Thanks for commenting. If you never spoke up then I'd never know what's going through your mind.

First, I never claim to be a good Muslim. That kind of thinking is really black and white and I'm gray. I would be a better Muslim if I wasn't so much in the world. I could be better if I stayed home. However, I am the breadwinner and my hub is the bread buyer. So, I make my way as best I can.

I left an international school in order to work at an Islamic school. That was one of the worst work experiences I have ever had. I realized that I had to work at an international school again. With that decision comes some need to let go of my control needs. When I went to interview at my current school, I saw there were party pictures. I really wasn't interested in that aspect of school life but I got it when I signed up. For the most part, I've been happy with my situation.

I have always allowed dressing up for my kids. It boosts creativity and imagination. The costumes don't have to be scary or connected to Halloween.

Our school now did not connect the costume party to Halloween. I was happy with that. I'm not big on Halloween. You're right that the origins are not good, true and pure. So, I don't allow Halloween in our house. I'm not overboard on it...I simply want it kept out.

Please see me as just a person. I'm not good or bad. I'm just me. I'll accept you as an imperfect you. Can you accept me as an imperfect me? Together inshahallah we can improve :)

Love and Light!