It's time we had a talk, Egypt.
You are waaay too into being a drama queen and it's got to stop.
When you and I first met in 2002, you accused ME of being a drama queen and maybe by comparison it was true. Okay, it was DEFINITELY true. I had just gotten divorced and was flying over to marry a man as his second wife only find out that he'd already divorced her three times. Whew! That was some crazy stuff!
Yet, you and I had great fun together, Egypt. You showed me beaches and gave me fresh fruit juice. I enjoyed Dreamland and the Pyramid Laser Show. Do you remember the fun we had at Khan Khalili? Really, it was good---except for the tummy troubles.
You and I stayed in touch for the next seven years. That's a long time! I made your food, watched ART on satellite, and had my husband's family export Egypt to our home for four long months. I dreamed of Egypt. I used to stare at the wall and see El Rehab. I wanted to be your new BFF and was sure that you would feel the same once you got to know me better.
So, I came back to see you in 2009. The beach was still there but this time I got to enter into your masjids as well. It was a new me. I was no longer with an Egyptian man leading the way for me; this time it was me leading around my little Egyptian man. I found Egypt to be quieter and less showy. I found it to be more about family and faith. I found safety and security. I felt good with you.
I knew that you had that horrible relationship going on with Mubarak. He was so wrong for you but you couldn't see dropping him. It was totally abusive and you did need some intervention to leave him. I applauded your decision even if I didn't agree with exactly how you did it.
It was in that moment that I really held my breath for you. You had so many options! What did you choose? You chose another man! I'm not sure why you thought jumping into bed with another man was going to change your life. Why didn't you realize that you YOU had to change yourself?!
All I've heard from you for the past year is how bad Morsy is for you. Well, guess what? YOU haven't been so great yourself! You think it was easy for him to deal with you? You were totally on the re-bound when you went for him. You hadn't gotten your act together AT ALL. Then, you went looking to him like he was going to be some savior. He's just a dude! It's also not fair for you to make him into some kind of demon spawn. He really had the best of intentions, in my opinion---not that you listened to me.
I think you could have tried longer to make it work with him. You barely figured out how to spell his name! Do you really think it's fair to pull him into your mess and then put all the blame on him for not fixing it? It was only ONE YEAR!
Now what? Another guy? Why him? Why Sisi?! Because he's bigger and stronger? Is that what's going to make you feel safe? Didn't you learn anything from my bad experience? Men don't keep you strong. Have some faith! I thought you were all about faith when I first met you. Now, I see that you were faking a lot of the faith. You are so mixed up in all this turmoil, I bet you don't even realize it's almost Ramadan.
Egypt, I'm not leaving. Don't read this and think we're all through. I'm still there for you but I can't stand by you and pretend I'm happy. I'm not. This new guy seems an awful lot like what you had for 30 years. Really? You want another 30 years under a military dictator? That's not figurative, Honey, that's LITERALLY!
I know you've got your fan base cheering on all these crazy flip-flop decisions you've been making. Whatever. They say they love you, but do they really? Do they understand what they're doing to you? Who the hell is thinking for the future? You can't keep going like this, Egypt!
I really think you've grown addicted to change. You are craving the world-wide attention. Ya, well, Anderson Cooper doesn't have your best interest at heart. You think that he's going to be feeding your kids or educating them? NOT LIKELY! Nobody on CNN sticks around for long. They are voyeurs who stop and stare at the train wreck you've become.
Me? I pledged myself to you and I'm here until even after I die, God willing. No, I'm not trying to be dramatic. I'm serious. I want to live here with my husband, raise my son here, work here educating the next generation and even die and be buried here. I am here for the long haul. Sure, I'm an ex-pat but you've got to hear the sincerity in my voice. You know what we've shared.
Don't listen to those beating drums and firing weapons in the street. You don't have to keep going on this manic binge. Stop it! No matter how many flags you're waving, there is still the red blood of Egyptians dying for no real reason. You're goofing up what you used to be so good at. You're killing off your people and destroying the peace. You used to be so peaceful!
Please use Ramadan to get a grip. You are better than this. You have been capable of such greatness. You don't need to rely on a man to solve your problems. You can get your act together and stop being such a drama queen.
PS I just heard from your guy. OK, I get why you don't like him any more. He was real pompous and kept talking about the two of you having a "legitimate" thing going on. Whatever. When men talk like that, it's over. It's like he lost the love and is just holding onto the contract. Sigh...I can't believe how deep into drama I am with you! Tomorrow is another day. We'll figure it out then, right?