Saturday, November 17, 2012

Hug Your Children

Asalamu Alaykom,

There's a million words I could write today.  A lot is brewing in me, around me and in the world.  The only thing I need to tell you today is this:

Don't make it one of those quick fly-by hugs.  Make it last a good 30 seconds.  Allow for some oxytocin to release.  God created oxytocin "the love drug" to circulate in our bodies so we could bond with those we care about.  When we bond we trust.  

Credit:  Muslim Mommy

You could add a kiss on the cheek if you wish.

Or you could say something meaningful like, "I love you."

"You're my best girlie!"

"You're my special guy!"

"I'm proud of you!"

There are too many parents who are unable to hug their children today.  I can think of two very sad places in the world where a hug is now impossible.

My prayers for those people seem inadequate.  I can't pray for them without crying.  I can't help them more than that.  I ask Allah to help them instead.

So what can I do?

I can do this.

Those who get hugs learn to love instead of hate; to appreciate instead of depreciate.  Let's send some love around the world today---starting with our own children.  If you don't have any children at your house, figure out who has some and if they'd let you borrow a hug.

Let's play at hug o'war.

Shel Silverstein


egyptchick7 said...

It's so sad to hear about the dead 50 Egyptian children being hit by a train...and of course horrific what is going on in Gaza and Israel.

I have been MIA for a while because my heat/hot water and electricity were cut off for two weeks by SANDY...but others here were not so lucky...the people of the NY/NJ area also need hugs...

Peace to you...

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom EgyptChick,

Have I told you lately that I looooove you?

Ya, I'm really glad to hear from you. What an ORDEAL you've been through! I had no idea. Subhanallah that you had to summon up that strength. Alhumdulillah that you are still grateful for what you have in comparsion to others who have lost so much.

Yes, you know the stories I'm referring to. The death of innocent children is hard to take. For me, the little kindergartners on the bus is unfathomable. There is one reporter who witnessed a mom at the scene screaming, "I didn't feed you this morning!" As if she had made the mistake that killed her child. It's all a sad jumble of emotions. No one in Egypt is handling very well the double-whammy of our neighbors in Gaza losing their children with this latest tragedy.

Thanks for being in solidarity with us.

Love (Water) and (Electric)Light!

UmmTimo said...

Wow...I didn't feed you this morning. Reading that just killed me.

I have 3 kids under the age of 4 MashAllah, so I am constantly yelling, stop that, put that down, slow down, dont run, pick up your toys, Dont hit your brother, finish your food, I said STOP!....etc.

I need to do more living and loving and truly appreciate what I have instead of being a stress/anger ball.

Thanks for the reminder.

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom UmmTimo,

You are being very honest and I appreciate that. It must be extremely hard to raise your brood. May Allah give you strength.

Thank you for saying what a lot of us moms need to say AND hear. It isn't useful to stress out. Being frantic rarely helps a situation.

What I've found, lo these many years, is that I need to be more proactive. The crazy morning is usually a result of not organizing the night before. Feeling overwhelmed is usually a result of not pacing and balancing my life better. Because in those moments when we are yelling at our kids, we don't really want to be yelling.

Stories like this hurt and help at the same time. Maybe we need the startling realization that these parents don't even have a body to wash for a janazah. May God grant them patience and strong faith during this time. We need to be reminded of simple times together as miracles.

Love and Light to You!

Anonymous said...

Asalamu alayki,

Just came across your blog walhamdulilaah, was looking for something like this as i lived in Cairo for about a year and a half a few years ago. I really wish to come back, that was my husband and i initial plan but with all thats going on my husband fears its unsafe.

With the mother screaming, that really made me cry Allahul musta3aan.
BarakAllahu feek, i shall inshAllaah follow you. x