Wednesday, September 26, 2012

No Class

Asalamu Alaykom,

I used to be a KG1 teacher.  Infact, I was a KG1 teacher for three years here in Egypt.  

But I wasn't happy.  I wasn't feeling the Islam in Egypt.  So, I left the school where I'd been and headed 45 minutes away to an Islamic-International School.  

They had no materials.  I had to buy, make or modify everything.  I spent 200 LE on posters and educational decorations.  I spent another 220 LE on the special Curious George posters.

It isn't all about the money.  It's about my vision, my initiating energy and my hope.  I hoped that all what I was putting into my classroom would pay off over the year.  I would educate a new group of Muslim students inshahallah.

And then I saw how my projected numbers never added up.  I was teaching a class of 11 not 20.  After three days, the administration combined the two classes under the other teacher and I was left with no one.

There was no need for a class.  Today I took down everything I put up earlier this month.  I took it down with a heavy heart.  Alhumdulillah.  I kept rememberance of Allah.  It isn't only my heart which hurts.  My thumb hurts from yanking so much sticky tack.

I'm told I still have a job.  They want to use me...they just haven't figured out how.  It's embarrassing to go from a classroom teacher to a kind of vagabond everyone is talking about.  Seriously?  It's sad.

It's not so much sad for me but sad for the ummah.  Why can't we run our schools?  Why can't we find an ounce of organization in our bodies?  It's a kind of stillbirth.  Sure, we have an Islamic International school but it's not fulfilling the mission it was meant to.  Islam is about peace and this school is about chaos.

I don't do well in chaos.

So...that leaves me...where?!

I don't know about professionally but here's a picture Mr. Boo made of us together.  He's very proud of the dress he made for me.  Yes, there's a lot of love there.  A big reason to stay at the school is to avoid a problem in his life.

Notice the border around the picture.  I made the border from a rolling paint trim I bought at JoAnn's in The States.  I also bought a BIG multi-color ink pad to roll it on.  I dreamed about using it in my class.  I did!  Alhumdulillah.  It was only three days but I did.  

I'm going to trust God and keep an open mind about alllllllllllll the possibilities.

Thanks for looking at my pictures.  They are all that's left of a really nice place I made for kids to feel happy, loved, safe and encouraged.  Too bad that it's gone.


Marie Vie said...

I am so sorry to hear about this Yosra, you were so happy of starting in a new school and I could see you in this place, making this difference in these children's life.
We often say that when God closes one door he also opens a window. I understand your sadness but keep trusting God, I am sure something even better will show up for you.

Take care dear.
Much love

Mai said...

As salaamu alaykum Yosra!

Much as it is hard at times, try your best not to be unhappy with Allah's Qadr and Qadar. Somehow, when I say al hamdul'Illah as a response to all the things that seemingly are bad, I find myself remembering that Allah's Plan is Perfect and there is not a single thing that I should ever wish to change regarding what He has decreed for me. It's part of the journey and part of my own personal development plan from the One Who loves me the most.

“…And if something (bad) befalls you, do not say, ‘Had I only done such-and-such, then such-and-such would have happened, rather say: Qadrullaahi, wa maa shaa’ fa’ala (This is from the Qadr of Allaah, and He does whatever He wills).” [Muslim]

A very good reminder on this subject is here:

May Allah shower His infinite blessings, mercy, and guidance on you! I look forward to hearing about the silver linings to these fluffy clouds you have encountered, inshaa'Allah!

Love, hugs, and dua',


zain said...

Assalamualaikum sister, i came across this, and i felt it fitted this post perfectly- From the perfection of Allah's kindness is that He allows His slave to taste the bitterness of a break before the sweetness of a mend. So He does not break his believing slave, except to mend him. And He does not withhold from him, except to give him. And He does not test him with hardship, except to cure him. (al-Fawaa'id) praying that you find the light at the end of your tunnel very soon. Ws

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom Marie,

You are right. I was so happy. At the same time, I was cautious. I was seeing some writing on the wall early on that made me wonder how much of my new job was based in reality. Turns out that the admin wasn't really into organization and that loose way of doing business was of course BAD business.

Inshahallah I'll find better because I'm committed to spending my working hours for a place that I can build up (instead of break me down).

Wa Alaykom Asalam Mai,

I've missed you! Thanks for stopping by.

You are absolutely right about Qadr Allah. It's funny how many times I've said it since this happened. Subhanallah. Faith in God's Plan is the only thing that keeps me sane...well...mostly sane.

Thanks for seconding that thought. I totally do need support at this time. I've had too much change and it's hard to feel alone when all this is going on.

Hope to see you again.

Love and Light!

Wa Alaykom Asalam Zain,

Really beautiful mashahallah. That is really priceless. I want to thank you sincerely for sending it to me. I will be OK inshahallah but it's good to hear from others that my belief is well-founded.

Jazakullah Kheir---may Allah bless you.