Sunday, September 11, 2011

10 Years Since 9/11

I've written about September 11 before (actually three times before). 

10 Years Ago Today
                            
I was going through a divorce.  I had left my husband because I didn't feel enough joy in my life.  I was a swinging single who had swung all she could.  Three weeks earlier, I had met a new man who brought me so much joy.  He was Egyptian.  He was Muslim.  He was also married with twins on the way but I didn't know that.  Astragferallah. 

I was searching for something but instead I ended up finding someone.

Today

I am married to an Egyptian man.  He is a practicing Muslim.  He is helping me raise the son of the man who once promised to never leave me (but did).  Inshahallah this man will not leave me.  However, I have come to find my joy in God and not through any person.  Though I love everyone, I trust no one.  I have come to trust only in God.

I am not always happy but I am at peace with who I am and who I am with.
10 Years Ago Today

I was earning the most money I ever had by working in a real estate office.  I was well liked and working hard to keep everyone happy.  That day our sales meeting was cancelled and I hadn't understood why exactly.  It was only a plane crash (sad but common).  No, I was told.  It was a terrorist attack.  America was under attack.
         
Because I had brought my two children to my office the previous Friday night, I still had my small portable TV.  My new colleagues crowded around me as the second tower fell.  I heard Peter Jennings' voice fall with it and I knew that the world had collapsed.  I had watched death.  Astragferallah.

I left the room and called my new Muslim boyfriend (this is before I knew that there is no such thing) and told him to stop driving his taxi.  I was worried for him.  Later, my colleagues would worry for me and warned me how to spot warning signs that my man might be a terrorist.

After his divorce and our marriage the following year, the warnings turned to tauntings.  I received the jokes, jeers, comments, lack of support, unequal treatment, the creation of a secret file and subsequent firing.  I lost the highest paying job I ever had in America because I was a covered woman married to a Muslim man.

I fought that injustice for two years---longer than I actually held the job itself.  We settled out of court.

Today

I have my Teaching English as a Foreign Language certification.  I went back to school to re-start my life after my firing.  I worked for several schools helping Muslims gain knowledge.  Alhumdulillah.  My ultimate goal was always to teach overseas (with Egypt as the logical location).

After I was a single mother, Egypt seemed less plausible yet the dream wouldn't die inside me.  I took my leap of faith and made hijrah.  Now, I have the most buying power I've ever had.  It is less money than I had in America but it affords me a higher level of living.  Subhanallah.
10 Years Ago Today

I prayed to God that my two children wouldn't be harmed by what they saw or heard.  My daughter in nursery school was subjected by thoughtless child care workers who kept the news in her view.  Time and again she'd see the tall buildings go down and wonder which tall building was mommy working in. 

That night we colored the sidewalk with messages of peace and love.  It was all I could do.  Their father picked them up and their wasn't animosity between us that day.  Somehow the people who had small troubles that day let them go. 

Today

I am the mother of three children.  Only one of them is sure he is Muslim.  It doesn't matter to me as much as you might imagine.  As I have said, "The world doesn't need more Christians and it doesn't need more Muslims.  It needs more bridges between the two."  My three wonderful children are bridges of faith and understanding.  Alhumdulillah.

I continue to spread messages the best I can.  What was once written in chalk, is now written on this blog.  It may even be sent via satellite.  Subhanallah.


10 Years Ago Today

I was scared.  Nothing made sense.  The world no longer seemed safe or logical.  I worried for everyone I loved.  I worried for the future.

Today

When I feel scared I give my fear to Allah Subhana Wa Tallah.  The world seems temporary.  Now problems seem to be parts of a glorious plan.  I have become a Muslimah who has stories and scars and is able to tell other imperfect people how to let go and let God. 

I remember how a decade has gone past since September 11, 2001.  Alhumdulillah for all the time which has allowed all of us to struggle past the sadness and upset and find some healing.  I have grown.  I have grown in ways I never would have imagined.

Alhumdulillah.


8 comments:

MarieHarmony said...

This is a fantastic post Yosra. So much has been going on in the world and in your life but after all you have found peace in your heart and life and put your trust in God. What a wonderful message of hope and love.

Anonymous said...

Asalamo Alaykom

"I trust no one. I have come to trust only in God???"

is there any Ayah or Hadith that is talking about this? or it is your own philosophie?

Dear sister we need to follow the right path (as muslims we repeat that more than 20times in our prayers a day but must of us don't know the meaning)

4] He (صلى الله عليه وسلم) also said:

“Indeed, the people of the Book before you split-up into seventy-two sects. And this nation will split-up into seventy-three sects, seventy two are in the Fire and one is in Paradise.” [5] And in another narration: “All of them are in the Fire except one.” It was asked: Who is that one? He replied: “That which I and my Companions are upon.” [6]

we ask the almighty Allah to be Amoung the saved one by following the way of Muhamed Peace be upon him

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom Maire,

Your comment meant a lot to me. I put out things which make sense to mean and help me to put a framework around life situations. I hope that it makes sense to others. I'm never sure if it does. I am very happy that you understood what a journey it's been.

Asalamu Alaykom Anonymous,

I always request that people who comment find an identity to use when writing to me. Why? Because I'm a person and I need for YOU to view yourself as a person too---not a nameless nothing.

What you wrote to me is wordy. It maybe helpful to someone else---so for that person it might help I printed it. For me? No, it doesn't really help me. I don't like that preachy aspect which advice giving can become. It almost seems like you don't understand me...are even scared to let yourself go there...and therefore hurry up with lots of quotes to stop yourself from EVEN FOR A MOMENT consider that my words and my thoughts are valid. It doesn't need verification or editing. It's fine. I'm fine. You're fine too.

Any chance you are the SAME Somali commentator who can't understand my reasoning or the other post?

Just wondering...

Anonymous said...

when you said that a hadith of Mohammed PBUH doesn't help you , there is no more things to write to you ,you need to learn more about Islam and know with which sect you are ;

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom Anonymous,

LOL!

Look, a hadith which is shoved down my throat, completely out of contact along with two others is unhelpful, yes. I can say that. I can actually say WITHOUT FEAR that is is unhelpful to spout hadiths all over the place. It turns people off of Islam because it is without human connection to the immediate moment and the immediate problem.

No matter.

I'm happy you won't be commenting again. Thanks for realizing that we are not on the same path. We're not. YAAAAAY!

Do you know how I know we're not on the same path? I would never tell you that you need to learn more about Islam. It would be presumptuous, condescending and rude. Only Allah knows the true sum of our knowledge.

Oddly enough, I have never been known to quote, quote and quote hadith and sunnah YET I seem to help others understand the true meaning of Islam.

Am I in a "sect" of Islam? AM I??? I am??? Wow! I had noooooo idea. Honestly, I didn't even know I was Sunni until about three years into the deal.

So, how about this: I will figure out which sect I'm in and then I'll go study hadith and sunnah to figure out whether or not I can co-exist with you and your thoughts before proceeding.

Or maybe I'll just live.

Yosra said...

Oh, I meant to say "out of context". The "Sponsh Pop" cheese puff crumbs on my fingers must have caused me to make a mistake.

sheriberi said...

That's a great reminder that nothing is forever and life can take dramatic turns that you never imagined, hopefully for the better :)

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom Sheri,

Inshahallah for the better. Thanks for following the blog. Now, could you write some more of your own? We want to read more :)