Saturday, April 23, 2011


     From Yasin,  Ayah 9

"And We made those who do not reflect on Our signs and revelations like those before and after whom We have erected a barrier so that they fail to see Allah's marvels around them

and in themselves"

Please don't think that Allah SWT only created glorious miracles outside of your shell of a body.  Oh no!  He is unlimited in His scope.  He doesn't stop where you start.  He flows wherever He wants to go AND He wants to flow in YOU!

YOU are a marvel created by Allah for something amazing in this world.

I used to get freaked out by what my marvelous moment would be in this life.  How do you prepare yourself?  I actually was so freaked out that I hid in a "normal" life---as much as Prophet Yunus/Jonah tried to hide on the ship.  I thought I could just weather out the storms of life by pretending.

Later, I realized that you can't hide from your marvelous moment and actually your WHOLE LIFE is your marvelous moment.

This is my hand upon the Quran.  If you look closely, you'll see the brown birthmark on my thumb.  It wasn't my choice to have it.  I didn't want it; didn't want to be told by all my teachers to, "wash again".  Yet, it is me.  It is a part of me.  Alhumdulillah for all the parts of me.

This is my new prayer outfit in maroon, white, gray and gold.  I bought it last night.  Alhumdulillah.  I've been looking for just the right one all these months.  I kept returning to one particular shop to see the most recent arrivals.  Finally!  The perfect one!  I loved the colors, the fabric, the design on the fabric and the style.

I tried it on over my galabiya.  I felt so regal and angelic with those beautiful colors and big sleeves.  My husband sat in the chair ready to give a verdict.

"It's too short," said the voice in Arabic...but it wasn't him.  It was her.

Some nameless female customer in the shop decided to announce this to my husband.

My marvelous moment was interrupted.  Let's not do that to each other.  Let's not.

This young lady had no knowledge of who I was or what I was about.  She didn't know that this was the only prayer outfit I have ever tried to purchase.  My other prayer outfit was gifted to me from the masjid upon taking the shahaddah in 2002.  That was both heartfelt and  homemade and it's seen me through hell and back.  I had thought to wear it until I made Hajj and then to dump it in Mecca along with all the memories. 

Yet, being here in Egypt has made me see that I can't be marvelous while carrying the past like a cloak of shame.  I need Allah's beauty to be on me, in me, and to fill me up.  I wanted a prayer outfit which signalled to me and to Allah that I am done with the old and done with hiding from the new.

So, I said to her, again in Arabic, "If I want information from you, I'll talk to you."  I hope I said it without rancor.

When I made it home, I didn't want to put the prayer outfit on.  It felt contaminated with bad feelings.  This morning, I made a point to put it on (and as much as I didn't want to do it) I checked the hem in the full-length mirror.  It was mashahallah fine.  Though it smelled dusty, I wore it anyway so I could clean it first through my prayer. 


I felt marvelous.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Salam alaikum