Monday, May 11, 2009

Really Living

I know that today I am really living.

Maybe I've been hibernating these last months

slowing down my heart rate so I could keep going through the winter.


I am


and I am ready to feel how it is to be alive.

I am not sleeping; not numbing; not avoiding.

I am enjoying.

This is truly my life right now.

I feel it.

I welcome it.

I thank God for it.


Um Zakarya said...

Assalamu aleykum dear sister Yosra,

I know how it feels.Your life is not perfect but it is your own life and you fully live it.

I went through that "rebuilding" phase of my life as well when I took a break from crazy marriages leading nowhere.You're now the actor of your life, not just a specator.

My Duas are with you.

Shabana said...

salams! alhamdulillah! i love reading posts like this. may Allah continue to put contentment and peace in your heart. Ameen.

p.s., i saw your twitter post down there! how awesome, masha Allah! May Allah bless you with the best Muslim! ameen!

Solace In Islam said...

That is wonderful!

What happened?

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom Um Zakarya,

Nicely put: "the actor...not the spectator". Ya, the switch has been flipped. I have to be in action now but it's not crazy frivolous action. Somethings are falling into place so beautifully that I have to just laugh and enjoy.

Keep the du'a comin'!

And thanks :)

Asalamu Alaykom Shabana,

Ameen! Ya, it felt reallllllly good to write it! It's about being true to myself and feeling that I got into the groove again.

"How Yosra got her groove back."

And ya...nobody has ever said a thing about my Twitter updates. I kind of like them, but wondered if anyone else did.

This was actually in response to my friend Ben (way gay)asking about the fella. I need to take a bit of a step back today and get a grip, but he's really a solid guy, mashahallah.

Asalamu Alaykom Solace,

To answer your question: A LOT of things happened. I stepped away from some stupid stuff. Suffered one day of heart ache at my mom's. Asked Allah for some delieverance.

AMAZINGLY subhanallah I got it the next day. That call from my lovely friend offering a beautiful house for the summer was like a jolt of iman. AND she had great news besides that---someone I love very much (and had given guidance towards Islam) took her shahaddah. ALHUMDULILLAH!

It was as if everything I've been doing really matters (hey, we all forget sometimes). And add to that a GOOD man thinking and praying about me in hopes that I might be his wife...well, it all gives me a re-newed sense of purpose.

Wacky thing about yesterday: I got another phone call about a teaching gig. This one is also VERY interesting. We'll see! There's a lot of istakkarah prayer going on here!


Nadia Mhatey said...

Mashallah lovely poem.