Wednesday, April 15, 2009

X2 and X2.5



Be careful who you marry.

Check out this message board! There are a few opinions about marrying a Moroccan man.
Can't say that my issues with X2.5 were the same.

He is currently on the internet with a 20-year-old. Mr. Boo didn't even recognize him. Mr. Boo said the man looked like a cowboy (must have been the black hat and boots). Why wear that on the beach?
Remember that he's a wanna-be photographer? Why be photographing a chickie-poo in her purple sequinced prom dress on the beach? It's soooo ick! And I know he wants me to see him and wish I was back with him. I DON'T! I get disgusted by his attempts

Meanwhile, X2, AbuBoo, is upset.
I emailed the info about the school in Egypt to a bunch of people. I included him. I had NO IDEA that his ex/now current wife reads his emails. Well..she's p*ssed that I am thinking to come to Egypt. She is thinking completely about herself AGAIN OF COURSE.

Kind of makes me rage on her all over again. Dang! How can one person cause so much drama?!

She read his email and then called up AbuBoo to rant. How could I, a former wife, be housed with Mr. Boo's grandma? I need a place to stay when I first get to Egypt IF I EVEN GO and Miss Thang is thinking that it's my ploy to get AbuBoo back.

Say what?!

HUH?

Ya, she is soooooooo sure that I am trying to win him over through his family (who all hate her for how she's ruined his life). It's really not my fault that she treated them poorly for years. She made her messy, stinky bed and now can lie in it AND NOT BLAME ME!

That woman used to send AbuBoo photos of his children. These would be the children she did not allow to go north to see their grandparents. She couldn't even manage to send photos to them.

So, you know what I did? I would scan them, make copies at walgreen's and send them over to Egypt. Talk about hassle! Why did I do that? Because I loved AbuBoo's mom and dad. They felt that and knew.

And now? DANG! I'm so mad about this! Now, AbuBoo is telling me that I MUST email her and tell her some lies so that she chills her big self down. No, it wasn't enough that I was supposed to email her. He had to dictate the lies I had to tell her. He is SO into lies that he can't ever see when the truth is too simple---like telling her to chill and that he loves her; not me.

You know what I offered to write?

What the hell is up with you?! If you want your marriage to break up, then just keep doing this stupid stuff! You read his email then lecture him about making sure his son has a place to live!

And you know what?

IN THE VERY SAME CONVERSATION I was lecturing him too! I was lecturing him after he told me that he couldn't come over for a scheduled visit. I told him that he has to be better when your kids are in the U.S.

This man, your husband, is working like a dog right now to afford you coming over. I don't know where I'll be but I'm planning to be as far away from you as possible.

You're right! I could imagine being with AbuBoo again IF it were him, me and his son. But, it's always YOU YOU YOU. It's always been you and it will always be YOU. You are this huge walking headache and I had one tonight after hearing this whole stupid story.

Now, here's where the headache turns into a nightmare...

Because I wouldn't agree to write the, "make nice," full-of-lies email, AbuBoo pulled his offer to stay with his mom.

Do you know how that makes me feel?

Manipulated?

Caught in a web?

Betrayed?

Angry! Angry that I'm in a never-ending love triangle even after a gut-wrenching divorce, a different marriage AND different divorce and two years of my life!

Be very, very careful who you marry.

5 comments:

Yosra said...

Natalia wanted to write:

Yusra,
I think not being with his family is a good thing for you. There are plenty of nice hotels where you and your son could stay until you find an apartment and insha'Allah the latter will happen soon once you're there.

If you will relocate I suggest you join a group of foreign women living in Egypt on yahoogroups called WOMEG. It's full of real women, who've been there, done that and are friendly to boot.

Asalamu Alaykom Natalia,

Thank you, Natalia for voicing your thoughts. I am still reeling from last night. Prayer and Quran didn't quite calm my butt down sufficiently.

Could it be better if I don't stay with his mom? Maybe...but I don't have enough money to live on my own without help from somewhere. I'm not going to ask readers to send to some paypal account. My own mom has helped enough (and that is her unshakable opinion). My dad? Don't know...

But, ya...money is the big issue.

I have my resume in to another school. It just occured to me that this other school is ISLAMIC as opposed to a school in a Muslim country. Hmmm...This would be one of the very few places in the world which could contend with my dream for Egypt.

Anyway...I do see a posting on "munafiq" in the future. Here's a link for that:

http://everything.com/title/Munafiq

I could not print your comment "as is" because you mentioned my son's name. I inadvertently put it in one of my recent posts. I know it seems strange, but I'm way protective of his name. I don't want to put it out there. So, I went back and yanked the name out. Sorry about that!

Keep being smart and leaving comments! I mean, you can be stupid if you wish, but it won't do me as much good, because I can be stupid enough on my own ;)

Anonymous said...

Hiya

Wow..Its never ending with that lady is it..And it will never end as long as she is around..

A lot of people think Egypt is a dream..I cant wait to get the heck outta here as soon as hubs papers are done were gone..

Please do me a favor really look into the school..Just cause a school says its Islamic here doesnt mean its Islamic..Im not sure whare you would be in Egypt but In Cairo around Maadi..I have worked for supposedly very reputable school here that pay good and nurseries as well..Guess what they are all full of crap..

They have no understanding of Islam everything they do is unislamic. Yeah and that salary I guarantee you 200% you will never see that full salary.. You get docked for anything and everything even if you have a doctors note..The private sector in Egypt has noone to control them and they can and will abuse you to any degree..Contracts mean nothing to them..All their contracts state that you wont leave them and they can fire you whenever they want..

My sister has been working in the school where her kids are and gets a 25% discount and has yet to ever see her full salary..All the teacheres were docked two days pay cause 4 teachers were absent in one day so they docked all of them.. The nursery where I worked hardly docked me cause they needed my American behind but they treated everyone else there like dogs making them work Saturday's satying till 5 and 6 pm...

I dont want to crash your dreams or make it seem like hell here but it is what it is here..There is nothing holy or Islamic about this place..No honor no dignity...

If they do let you go they will not give you a ticket to come home with and they will not pay you any days you worked..You just have to becareful about that..If you really want to give it a try here I would try and aim for a multinational company and not a school..

Your gonna need help when you first come and your gonna need to learn the language, transportation how to shop how to haggle, how much things cost..It wont be easy..

Whatever you choose to do I wish you the best..Just be careful of schools here..

Mashallah you seem so much happier in your writings then before!! I wish you all the best!!

AnnonEgy-

Lisa said...

This makes me want you to go to Egypt even more! It's not your fault that she's a disaster and Abu Boo wanted to marry you because you were so much nicer and easier to get along with!

She must be pretty desperate to still be with him after all he's done.

Please don't fall for the trap of emailing her Yosra. Dear, you owe that woman....NOTHING! I seriously doubt that in all these years she even acknowledges little Mr. Boo's existence, so don't honor her this way.

And I don't know much about Abu Boo. And please don't be offended when I say that it could be that he's trying to make you look like the bad guy here. And if you email her, he could twist things and make it look like he's an angel. I hate to be so pessimistic, but it's hard to trust him. Oh I love you Yosra. And this is none of her bees-wax.

Anonymous said...

Yusra,

Oh sorry, I thought you decided to reveal your son's name to public. I apologise for including it in my comment.

I second AnnonEgy-'s comment on looking into schools really carefully. As suggested before, join the yahoo group and you can ask for first hand experiences ;)

And if the money is tight for the first month, could you agree with the school to give you some advance money? Which you could then return in 6-months installments or something? I relocate quite often and this is what my employer does to make it easier when starting in a new environment.

Anyhow I wish you good luck, I am faithful reader since the Honorary Arab blog and you and your children are always in my do'aas.

Talking about children, we haven't heard much about your biggers kids lately. Everything OK?

Natalia

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom Anon Egy,

Wow! Some time, eh? We knew each other waaaaaaaaaaaay back. Seems like another life ago entirely.

No, she will never stop being a thorn (trying not to use lesser words). She will always be part of the deal, so I need to really detach. I was thinking that I could count on AbuBoo for something, but I can't with her in the picture. She will always push out out.

As for the school...I was really hit by a new truth about it. It is an American school NOT an Islamic school. I will not really be able to be teaching from the core of my Muslim faith.

I have applied at two other schools since then. Both of them are Islamic.

Thanks for crashing a few of my dreams LOL! No, really though, I always opt for reality because the truth truly will set you free. I am not as quick to believe and trust in people and places as I was seven years ago.

I do think that the initial days will be difficult no matter where I go. Egypt would be more difficult than a lot of places, but it would not be impossible. Sincerely, I do well traveling, speak enough Arabic, and make friends easily.

For me and Mr. Boo, I think that an elementary school is better than any other business or company. He would be beside me and it would be much easier for a daily schedule.

Probably the best thing you wrote is that I sound happier. I am. Alhumdulillah. Not every minute! And some days still suck, but not as bad and not so deep.

Keep reading and commenting. I missed ya!

Asalamu Alaykom Lisa,

You know too well all the pitfalls, eh? Desperate women and men do stupid things and I don't want to be lumped with them any more. I remind myself of that by saying, "Let them do their weird little dance." It truly is a kind of mating ritual with them. Not the makings of successful polygyny! We didn't stand a chance of making that work!

Asalamu Alaykom Natalia,

No appology necessary. :) My screw-up, not yours. And it's really got me thinking if I want to stay anonymous.

I look at my friend Matt Logelin and think of how he is so open with everything.

I'm thinking if I want to "come out" completely or not.

Thinking...

Ya, the advance might be possible but I think it would be better to pull it together here and bring it.
If I even go...I'm not feeling it like I did before.

My big kids? Thanks for asking! I did write about them quite a bit in the comments section about a week ago.

I talked with them both yesterday and we have a get-together planned for Sunday inshahallah.

My son is really a young man now. Shaving. Wanting to know how to drive (headed towards 15). He's alllll about friends and music. He's still as rip-roaring funny as ever. He's into drumming and theatre (makes sense since his father and I met doing theatre).

My daughter is gradually becoming that butterfly. We're talking a lot about girlie things. She's blossoming and finding some happiness in the newness of it. She hasn't found her niche in life yet (she's not yet 12) but she's exploring.

Keep that faithful readership going! I can use all the du'as I can get! :)

May Allah bless each and every one of my readers with increased knowledge and faith so that today they might come closer to goodness.

Loving you all!