Monday, April 20, 2009

Who Should I Marry?

For two years, I've been trying to figure out who would be best for me and Mr. Boo to bring onto, "our team." Finally, in March, I asked the readers and the results were:

American-born Muslim 16 (51%)

American revert 11 (35%)

Foreigner living here 3 (9%)

Man Overseas 0 (0%)

Go back to Kids' Dad 1 (3%)

Go back to AbuBoo 0 (0%)

Go back to Mr. Florida 0 (0%)

Hmmm....what do I think of what you think?

Well, the BIGGEST surprise to me was that ANYONE thought I should head on back (with the figurative tail between my legs) to the kids' dad. It must be someone who hasn't the foggiest about who I am or what I'm about. He's 1) Not Muslim 2) Not agreeable to most things I need or want and 3) Engaged to someone else (who looks just like his eldest sister---calling Dr. Freud!). So, no, that is NOT happening.

No one thought I really needed X2 (AbuBoo) or X3 (Mr. Florida) and I have to agree. No, I don't need them. X2 is all about following the wishes of his 1st and current wife and she says, "LA!". X3 is actually an impossibility as we've divorced three times, or X3 x3=0.

Interestingly enough, no one thought I needed a man from overseas either. I guess it had GREEN CARD written all over it.

But, only three thought that a foreign man living here would work out. If I had to make my own preference known, it would be this. I love that cultural mix and the meeting of two different worlds. It's so mind-blowing to bridge that gap of understanding. I've always loved those newly here---including every foreign-exchange student in high school. And that's boys/girls and men/women. I just am drawn to the possibilities to increase understanding.

Nope, most of you thought I should marry either an American-born Muslim or an American revert. I have met very few of either near my age. I think those in their 20s and 30s might have an easier time hooking up with those brothers. And honestly? It doesn't grab me as much as a foreign-born.

Maybe the best person would be someone who spent time overseas but has lived here most of his life. This would fulfill both what I want and what you say I need.

Allah knows best.

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُ

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

1 comment:

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom,

Funny to read this now and know what actually happened :)

I did marry a foreign born man but he's not even traveled outside of Egypt.

We certainly have our moments of tranquility (trying to increase those) and we have love and inshahallah mercy. It's been a year and almost four months. Alhumdulillah for what has been and inshahallah the future will be easier on us.