Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Wrongly Accused


I have spent many days in February being wrongly accused.

Of saying this to her.

Of not doing that with them.

Of stealing this from him and then showing it to them, which was totally crazy.

Of trying to steal him from her!

Of giving her a cold, when really I only had allergies.

Not to be outdone, March wanted to get in on the act and have a bizarre accusation start the new month. So, on Sunday, I entered my credit card information unaware of what awaited me. I was going to sign up for a Muslim matrimonial site. Yes, I know. No, don't tell me.

Guess the message that came back...


WELCOME!


No.
THANK YOU!


No.



It was


Your payment for 3 Months

using Visa XXXX-XXXX-XXXX-XXXX

was rejected for the following reason:
Tried to use a stolen credit card.

Under FBI and Interpol cyber crime investigation.



And then, on my profile, I saw


Banned Member


This member has been banned

from the site for the following reason:

Tried to use a stolen credit card.

Under FBI and Interpol cyber crime investigation

If you are in still contact with this person,

we strongly suggest to stop communicating

with him/her as soon as possible.



OK, so this was on a whole new level.

I just couldn't ignore the fact that I was being called thief in front of hundreds. Wow. Allah had this as part of my plan and it was something I needed to stop and examine.

I thought all day, as I tried to resolve the issue with Canadian managers and Egyptian managers. Why would I need to feel the scorn of others? Why would I need to feel the upset of being bad?

I thought about the wrongs I have actually done. I have always tended to be open about my faults. These days, I'm covering my faults more, as I want the favor of Allah. I thought about Judgement Day and how these small moments of judgement are a foreshadowing of what's to come.

There will be a time when everyone in the world will learn my bad deeds. It will feel so much worse than this moment of losing face. And on the Last Day, I will not be able to clear my name. There will be no more time. It will be the End of Time. Facing the truth will hurt if I've been hurting myself with my actions.

All of us have those moments of truth which are troubling. We avoid them so we don't have to acknowledge what is real.

Stepping on the scale after gorging and not exercising.

Getting the pregnancy test because we weren't careful.

Reading the exam score for a semester in which we slacked off.

Playing back a message from a person we've angered.

Opening bills when we've overspent.

These are moments. We can face up to the truth of those times and do better the next time, inshahallah. There is another chance to know better and do better.

As Oprah quotes from Maya Angelou, "When I knew better, I did better."

All of the wrongs said against me reminds me of The Power of Allah, who sees all and knows all. Allah will never wrong us. Even if the whole world says a lie, Allah will know the truth.

We already know the truth about ourselves. We know our faults first and foremost. For me, I think it's best if I become unshakable in who I am in order to be the best servant of Allah. If I stick to this, then inshahallah my actions are all with Allah's blessing.

Yes, the issue with the matrimonial site got resolved. Using my cell phone as a modem had tripped their security alerts. I have their appologies. Wish I had a freebie too!

But alhumdulillah, I felt better for getting my mind clearer.

3 comments:

Umm Omar said...

"Even if the whole world says a lie, Allah will know the truth." -Such a beautiful example of placing trust in Allah.

Brooke said...

Argh--must be for the best my comment went astray---basically I said you seem right cool about the matrisite, masha Allah. That was not cool.
L&P

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom UmmOmar,

It really would be nice if everyone liked us, wouldn't it? But then we'd be on the pedestal (for worship). Once on the pedestal, they could only knock us down---or look up our dress.

Asalamu Alaykom Brooke,

I was going NUTS the day it happened. I was not cool. But, then you step back and go, "HEY! This is waaaay out of my control! I have to let it go and chill."

I'm so chill now, I think I'm going to take a nap....zzzz....