Thursday, March 19, 2009

24


Asalamu Alaykom!

There are A LOT of things going on, which I will blog about inshahallah in the future days.

However, I have the best news

but...

um...


this is mommy news.


WARNING:

MOMMY NEWS IS OFTEN

TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE

TO EARS UNACCOSTUMED

TO ISSUES OF CHILD REARING!


OK, now that we have that out of the way
....ready?


24 HOURS DRY!


Mr. Boo has graciously agreed to potty train. ALHUMDULILLAH! This headstrong young man has given me a run for my money (literally since the dang Pull-ups are $16 a pack) for over a year and a half. This is like inconceivable for me, since my older son potty trained completely (day and night with never an accident) right before the age of two.

For Mr. Boo, I started him on a potty when he was almost two-years-old. He had been in cotton diapers his whole life up until then. He was doing pretty well but then we had a medical emergency.

When he was two weeks before he second birthday, he injested lead pellets from a broken maraca. This necessitated a ride to the ER, me battling the dotors, an elevated lead level, an eight day hospital stay with his system being flushed (imagine turning the water faucet on full blast and that was him eliminating), and an appendectomy. Whew! That was some time!
The truth is that he was physically incapable of potty training after that. His body needed to heal. He had been through major surgery and a major ordeal.

Then, a couple of months later, it was time to wean him. Ya, I nursed him for 25 months. None of my kids ever had a bottle ever and especially not of formula. The other kids got weaned at 18 months for my son and 22 months for my daughter. OK, breastfeeding tangent is done. The point is: I couldn't potty train while I was weaning him.

You can't make a child navigate two major milestones at the same time. A month after weaning, we moved to be with Baba and he got his own room. I tried to do some maneouvers with him only to become a stark raving mad looney----not the right time.

Two months after that, I went back to work and he started going to daycare.

One month later, we moved out of Baba's place.

Guess what? Then that daycare provider decided it wasn't the right fit for her and I had to start him somewhere new.

It was always something! He only had four months of potty training before we moved back here again. Though he had been doing great in our apartment down south, he lost that momentum once we were living with my mom.

Gosh, he's been through a lot!

Only two months after arriving back up north, we moved out of her place and he started a new daycare. It again took months before he felt comfortable using the toilet there. However, he was only there four months before I had to pull him (since I stopped working).

I've been working with him on THE RULES. It's THE RULE that you have to use the toilet right away when you wake up. For some reason, kids don't question why it is the rule. You just say it like you mean it and DO IT every time. I knew this with my older kids, but slacked off with everything else that was going on. It's THE RULE you have to use the potty before that TV show that's going to start, or before that fun activity that you really want to do. It's THE RULE that you have to use it before you take a nap, or before meals, or before you leave the house. It's THE RULE to use the toilet when you come back inside.
I almost forgot the flip side to adhering to the rules. You've got to keep on nailing CHOICE. I wrote about this before. Mr. Boo really started talking about going to school after seeing his buds down south get ready every morning. So, when he wouldn't want to sit on the toilet I would calmly explain that then he won't be able to go to school. Or, if he was really wanting to get going out, I would remind him that the toilet was first and we couldn't leave until he went potty. If he didn't go potty, then we wouldn't leave. If he wanted to be a big boy, then he couldn't wet the diaper any more.

Oh, and Spiderman underwear helps. He gravitates between Spiderman and Thomas the Take Engine---the most violent active character and the most docile dull character. He can only wear that underwear inside the apartment---not out...not yet. I mean DUH! Kids love certain things and we need to manipulate the hell out of those loves.

He loves lollipops. So, you know what I did? I bought a big friggin' bag of Mini Tootsie Pops from Walgreens. After every poop in the toilet, he gets a lolli-poop. Ya, it's a silly name. Laugh about the deal. Don't go ape-sh*t about it, but keep light. Keep upbeat!

If you want upbeat potty training, you've got to download this Huggies video. And I'll tell you something amazing: that family you see in the beginning could not look more like Mr. Boo with his mommy and daddy than if they cast lookalikes. For real, that man who plays the first daddy is a dead-ringer for AbuBoo. You never really see the mom that well, but there is a serious simmilarity to me (except I weigh about a million pounds more). The little boy is physically so much like Mr. Boo except my dude is browner mashahallah with straighter hair. And there we all are in a potty training hip-hop video!

Maybe Mr. Boo could have done potty training ealier if I could have done it better. I couldn't stay calm about his potty training. This was my problem. I could not enroll him in a preschool. I could not save money from all those trips to Target. Last year, I was really bothered by Baba's distain for a child who was still in diapers.

I decided that I can't change a lot of things in my life right now, but I can devote more time and effort to my little man. He is such a cool kid! And, after reading his recent history, you have to admit that he's been a good team player.

I say that to him all the time, "Come on, dude! You're on my team!"

From time to time, we talk about who else could be on our team but the core is us---Mr. Boo and UmBoo.

"Mommy, I can't wait to grow up and be just like YOU!"

Now the last time he said that, his statement was followed up by, "...and grow hair in my nose!"

LOL! Yes, he actually said, "Mommy, I can't wait to grow up and be just like YOU and grow hair in my nose!"

But this time? I had to ask, as I buckled him in his carseat, "Why? What do you want to do just like me?"

"I want to make milk."
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!

"Honey," I tell him, "Boys and men don't make milk."

"THEY DON'T?!"

"No, Sweetie, sorry," I said and I really was sorry. I hated to crush those dreams of nursing.

"Ahhhh..." he went from dissapointed to deep in thought. I started up the car and started to drive away.

Then he spoke again from the backseat.

"Then what about the thing in my belly?"

I thought about that one. Pulled up to the stop sign and pondered it.

"Where the baby grows?" I asked.

"Nooooooooo!"

"The womb?" I tried again.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

I sat that. Could he mean?

"The breasts?"

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! What about the breasts?"

"Oh, Honey," I tried to break it to him gently, "You won't get breasts."

"I WON'T?!"

"No, sorry."

And I drove off with The Current playing some head-bopping tune. We needed some serious head-bopping music after that.

He's growing up. He's realizing what he can control in this world and what he can't. I guess I'm learning the same thing. May God bless the Mommy and Mr. Boo team and keep us safe.

7 comments:

egyptchick7 said...

That video is the most disturbing thing I have seen in a while! I am not a mother, but I am sure Mr. BOO has been through a difficult time with his hospital stay, etc, it's only expected that he won't potty train so fast. Anyway, it sounds all good now.

Like you use the "24" logo. LOVE that show. It's a shame you can't talk about motherly issues without issuing a warning to those who think it is inappropriate to blog about such things.

dramamama said...

Salam and a big HURRAY to you and Mr Boo! I feel ya re getting rid of those diapers and super expensive pull up pants. Thinking of you and praying for you both.

Umm Omar said...

Congrats on a dry 24 hours. That's a hurdle overcome. :-)

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom EgyptChick,

Ya, it's a wack-a-lack-a-ding-dong kind of video, eh? I like it with a kind of a strange fascination. Probably has something to do with the lookalikes at the beginning.

Oh, and the WARNING was more tongue-in-cheek. I do know that "mommy talk" can be a bit nauseating. Just wanted to give a heads-up to anyone who hated it.

And I do think that this response wins the award for MOST HYPHENS.

Asalamu Alaykom Drama Mama,

Your prayers are WORKING! Second night/day completely dry, baby! Seriously, I would choose this event in my life over a lot of other things!

Asalamu Alaykom Umm Omar,

"Hurdle" is a good word. Ya, I do feel it. I'm sure Mr. Boo feels the accomplishment too.

I encouraged his daddy to be a part of the deal by asking him to get a treat for his son in order to celebrate. You know the real fun? It's the walk to the store together. I was NOT allowed along. "Only GUYS!" was the edict from the boy. They came back with not just one treat but many: M&M cookie, chocolate covered donut, shamrock sugar cookie, bag of Scoop Fritos, a Life Saver multi-colored frozen bomb pop, and a peanut butter cookie for me. I swear if I hadn't been there, his daddy would have let him eat the whole thing. ONE TREAT! Oh, well, I do appreciate the co-parenting on that moment. And Mr. Boo deserves some accolades of late.

Thanks for applauding him!

Anisah said...

My son's first undies were Scooby Doo. He was sooo into Scooby. Now he has Scooby and Spiderman underwear.

The last bit was so cute!

Anonymous said...

Masha'Allah congratulations to Mr. Boo!! Yayyyy so happy for u guys!
Alhamdulillah thank you so much for posting all that great info on potty training, too - that will come in handy insha'Allah! ;) ;)
And that's AWESOME you were able to breastfeed that long and not use bottles - I am totally with you sista! You go girl! :) :) :)
Love reading your blog!! LOVE IT!
Sally ;)

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom Anisah,

LOL at our underwear talk. Maybe the male leaders of the world would feel more happy and secure if they got cartoon characters on theirs.

Glad I'm not the only one who thought our car conversation was choice!

Asalamu Alaykom Sally the Camel,

Do you know that song?

I'm glad that you got something out of what I wrote. Ya, I had to pass along what we've done. No reason someone else should have to re-invent the wheel (or the potty). Of course, every child is different. My older two LOVED for me to read to them on the potty, but not this kid!

Potty training actually is a LOT like nursing!

And I'm glad you are enthusiastic about the no-bottle babies I've birthed. If you have to, then you have to...but I made sure I didn't have to. It was truly a top priority to be there to nurse on demand as long as "was mutually agreeable". I keep thinking of a nursing book for Muslim moms. Thinking....