Saturday, February 21, 2009

Lost Connection

On Friday, I arranged for a re-visit to the masjid. The last time we were there was for the funeral of a dear, sweet child, with me supporting the mother so she wouldn't get engulfed by the crowd of grievers. Today, she and I were to meet with our other friends and pray together.

When I arrived, I saw to my surprise that there was another janazah, or funeral. It was for another child. Subhanallah, this little girl was 17-months-old. She had never been healthy; never gone from the hospital for long. The family had already buried a child two years ago; a toddler. Subhanallah. From Allah we come and to Allah we return.

Do you know what? This was good for my friend. Alhumdulillah. Her daughter had lived. She had built snowmen, and sand castles, and danced, and laughed. In those six years she pranced around this earth, she got to become an integral part of so many lives. Alhumdulillah.

Before, it had perhaps seemed cruel astragferallah that a six-year-old can die. Now, it was made more clear that we had been blessed to have those years on earth with her. Mashahallah, what a beautiful child!

It was time to pray, and I struggled to stop the thoughts so I could focus on the hafiz's mashahallah stirring recitation of Quran.

I thought, "What's wrong with me? Why can't I clear my mind from all these thoughts of life and death, of Yasmeen and of this other little girl; of their deaths and of their parents?"

The first rakha came and went and I somehow still felt not completely connected as I stood for the start of the second rakha.

Then, the hafiz began, "Wa tini wa zaytun..."

It made me stop and smile and then cry. This is the surah I am now memorizing. I wrote about it weeks ago. I was touched. I was. I felt so connected to everything and everyone. Quran is so powerful. Subhanallah.


Allahu akbar!

This is the first time I've cried since I arrived. I've been so strong for my friend, her husband, his family, her family and the other friends. I felt it was my duty and actually I felt so good alhumdulillah that Allah gave me that strength.

My friend is so incredibly strong, mashahallah. Can you imagine washing your child for burial? She did. Subhanallah, she did and she did it so well. May Allah reward her by wiping away all her sins. Of course, my friend has times when she feels weak too.

In my prayer, I had to admit my failings. My time of weakness was with Allah. When I confessed of my weakness, Allah gave me more strength.


Subhanallah, I went to find a photo for this article. I was thinking of a phone off the hook, but didn't like those shots. I typed in "missing the train" and the photo I liked was from a blog on which the first words are, "View from the Jama Masjid," which is where we were today. No, not in India, but in the city where I am staying. We were actually at the Jama Masjid. Subhanallah. God gives signs to those who see.

1 comment:

Umm Omar said...

No...I can't imagine washing my own child for burial...May Allah pour down His Mercy onto your friend and her family through this immense trial.