Thank you so much for visiting me again this year. You have been a wonderful presence in my life as always. You know, before you came, I was worried if I'd have enough to properly honor you. Then, I came to remember how you are a very gracious guest who always gifts those fasting with special insight and fortitude.
I know we had our problems. I wasn't always as patient as I'd like to be, especially with those in my home who weren't fasting. Inshahallah, all my fasts will be accepted. I did what I could each day and next year, inshahallah, I hope to participate even better.
I want to thank you for really giving me that push I needed to wake for fajr every morning. It has made a positive difference in my life. Every day that starts with the early prayer, ends better that night, alhumdulillah.
Reading Quran has been so wonderful as well, alhumdulillah. It's kept me centered through all the changes. Today, I looked at the binding and realized that I was EXACTLY half way through. Subhanallah. In the past, I stopped reading Quran and gave up about half way through Ramadan. So, it's a better way this year and inshahallah for years to come. Every habit truly begins with a first step.
I did not go once to the masjid, though I did pray with others a couple of times. I did share iftar a few times with other Muslims, and with my mother almost every night.
I won't say it was easy to live in a non-Muslim household during Ramadan. It wasn't. There was no one to share suhour. There was no one who understood my quiet at the end of the day. Bouts of anger fell on me harder (but alhumdulillah hurt me less).
It was however a time when I could really share a bit of Islam with my mother through my actions. She could see how I observed my days and could accept a date to help me break the fast every night. With all the blessings I received during Ramadan, she could also share in the knowledge of The Glory of God. Alhumdulillah.
I felt, thanks to you Ramadan, more able to cast away the bad, dirty, and stupid in my life. I didn't want to ruin our time together, so I cleaned up my act in order to be with you more fully. I hope that, once you leave, I can keep those evils at bay. I will miss the clarity I've had since you've been here. I have a feeling that I'll loose some of that bit by bit until your next visit.
Last year, astragferallah, I did nothing---not one good thing---for Layla tul Qadr.
This year, I did Taraweah at home for every possible Night of Power. Alhumdulillah. It was what I wished to do better since last year, when I felt so ashamed of my actions. Alhumdulillah, that I was given another chance with you.
How about next year? Can we set a date? I'd love to spend more time with you, Ramadan. You mean so much to me. Without you, I just wouldn't be Muslim.
p.s. Inshahallah, you don't mind me sharing my time with you on my blog.