Monday, December 22, 2008

Reality


There is something about having 103 fever which brings reality into your head. It sounds crazy but it has happened to me like this before.

It was after such a fever that I decided I had to examine my first marriage, and whether or not I could survive another nine years.

Right now? Well, I had to admit that all the admiration of men around the world ain't gettin' me a cup a tea. You know? I feel worse than worse (not going into work tomorrow) and I have NO ONE. No one has helped me take care of myself or Mr. Boo this weekend. We've been on our own and I've been suffering.

Sure these men are calling to check on me from Australia, Cyprus, Montreal, Germany, and Qatar but they aren't here. They aren't real. In order to make them real, I would have to go through a lot of effort.

And you know what?

I don't have it in me.

I told each one of them that today. I ended each possibility today.

If it had been two years ago, I might have flown off to Australia, or agreed for Mr. Montreal to get a visa to visit here. But now? It all sounds like so much trouble. I don't want trouble. I have enough trouble.

If you feel like making a du'a, please ask that Mr. Boo stay healthy. This cold/flu was severe and I would hate for him to go through what I've been going through.

Stay healthy!

5 comments:

Shabana said...

subhanallah, hope you feel better, iA. and may Allah keep your little guy healthy and strong. Ameen!

Anonymous said...

Subhannallah, fever really does that. In the Waldorf tradition and probably others, fever is respected as a sort of right of passage. The sick are made to be comfortable, but the fever isn't "drugged" and usually there is a marked degree of maturity to the patient after the illness. I witnessed this with my own son when he had e-coli, which he was almost over by the time the doctors knew that was what it was. Alhumdiallah.
Love and peace,
~Brooke

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom Shabana,

Ameen to your du'a. So far so good for Mr. Boo. Alhumdulillah my neighbor and co-worker could drop him off at daycare so I could rest. May Allah reward her. Of course, the funny thing is that once I was back in bed I got a call from one of the parents LOL that woke me up. Ahhhhh...so now I'm awake and just digesting breakfast (which included tea that I made myself 'cause girl's got to do what a girl's got to do).

Asalamu Alaykom Brooke,

God bless ya, girl! You are a great commentator. Ya, your un-printable comment about the blogosphere was right on. People on the internet can loose sight of the reality (as I mentioned on this posting)of human beings. Thank you for continuing to be both human and humane.

I love what you wrote about Waldorf. Interrrrrrresting! Ya, often if we just speak our truth we find it is a universal truth.

I meant to answer more of your comments earlier. I THINK about my response...but then fail in the execution. Forgive me for that. I would appreciate one more DO NOT POST message to me explaining how to find you 'cause I'm dumb enough not to get what you wrote.

Thanks!

Journey said...

Salaam Yosra,

I'm sorry to read about you being sick but glad that Mr. Boo hasn't picked it up and insha'Allah won't. Hope you feel better soon :)

Livin_life_and loving_it said...

Sorry about u being sick but it is great that you haev grown and see its not worth it!!!!!