Wednesday, December 3, 2008








I felt down...yesterday afternoon. There had been talking about me behind my back; backbiting. In Islam, it is seen as actually eating the flesh of your brother or sister.

As my lovely daughter said to me, "So you felt like you were back in high school?"

I said, "No, worse: junior high!"

I talked it over with a good friend, may Allah reward her. She said that I needed to be grateful for times when the people let me down for only then do I truly remember that I'm doing it for Allah. If I harbored any bad feelings from it, she continued, then I should ask Allah to remove that upset from my heart. I should do this before talking to anyone. Go to Allah. Only Allah.

I'm fasting all these days, and it just hurt to think that I was praying for better and got worse. I felt that last night. Today, as I begin another day of fasting, I see how re-focusing on Allah cannot be worse. It truly is better. Alhumdulillah.

Good people in your life are a blessing, but if the whole world loved you and Allah was not pleased, you wouldn't have done well. And the converse isn't the case. It isn't as if I have no one loving me. I have a wonderfully supportive network of co-workers, friends, and family. Alhumdulillah.

I do think that it would have been nice to come home yesterday to that big shoulder to lean on. But the wrong shoulder? No. Please, no.

So, here I am. Starting again. Remembering Allah more. Trying to please others less. Inshahallah.

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