Sunday, November 2, 2008

Muslims Who Stop Praying

She called me and she was happy at first, but then her words grew sadder and she started to cry. In all her upset, with all life's problems, she was searching for a solution.
She called me.
I knew that it was an honor which she was bestowing upon me.
It doesn't matter who she is. She could be you, if you weren't careful.
She had been the one who had advised me before, when I first reverted. Now it was my turn. Sisters in Islam are like this. We love each other truly and want the best for each other.
"You could pray together," I offered. "Let him feel that he is the leader once again and that you love him through Allah."
"Yosra, I haven't prayed in two years." She said this. She said this to me.
I was in shock.
There had been that time and I remembered it, when I first learned that she wasn't doing all her prayers. She had gotten busy chasing the American dream. She was having a tough time fitting the prayers into her life; her busy life. That was a long time ago. I thought she had fixed it! She hadn't.
She hadn't told me.
She hadn't told anyone else.
Her husband knew. He's the same husband she had used to plead with, in order to get him to pray. Eventually, he did pray, and then she stopped. Why didn't he just tell her, "STOP! Doing dishes and join me. Dishes can wait. Allah is more important than dishes."
Her mother must have known. She visited and she prays. Didn't she realize that her daughter wasn't praying? Why didn't she hug her and say, "Let me finish the cooking, while you do the prayer."
Didn't she ever hang out with her other Muslim friends over the prayer times? Why didn't they pull her aside and say, "Sister, let's pray together!"
In the end, however, there is no one to blame but ourselves.
It is so easy to say, "Later."
We have to remember that this prayer might be our last. We might not make it to the next prayer. Death is not something for only the elderly or the infirmed. If you KNEW death were coming for you before the next prayer, wouldn't you pray for Allah to forgive you and for Allah to protect your loved ones.
Even if we have another 50 years, does that mean we want the next years to be filled with misunderstandings? Jealousy? Hurt feelings? Anger? The fitnah in our lives comes from taking God out of our lives.
I told her, "Any man and woman can 'hook-up' in the U.S. and it can last for a few years. You don't want that. You don't want a relationship to just be here and gone. You want it to last and the only way it's going to last is to put Allah between you. And the best way to do that is to pray together. Call him---NO! Text him. Don't talk on the phone. Just ask him to please come back to lead you in prayer. Pray together and then ask him to forgive anything you did, or anything you said, which wasn't right.
Maybe he said things too which were wrong, but you can't control him. You can only control yourself. Be the best wife you can be and if that means you have to be the better one today, then do that. Maybe he'll be the better one another time. That's a marriage! You can't both be bad at the same time. Ask forgiveness of Allah and then ask him."
"And while you are at it, also thank Allah for all your blessings over these years, and ask Allah for protection; for your faith, you marriage and your children."
I'm not sure what she did. I have to call today and find out. Make du'a for her, please.
And if you are not praying...please start right now. Just wash and pray. Learn the lesson from this sad story and don't let it become yours.
11/07 Alhumdulillah! Alhumdulillah! Alhumdulillah! I got the call today. She is back to her prayers and back with her husband. Thank you for your du'as.

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