Sunday, October 5, 2008

Moving to Deeper Faith

Ramadan is done.

Eid is done.

But I'm not done. I have to start really revving up towards Monday, when I begin teaching again. Mr. Boo goes to his daycare and I walk over to the school (still no car).

So far, I have gotten lost a handful of times in this new area. Resettling certainly is unsettling!

To wrap my mind around it, I tell myself that I'm camping. I was camping out at my mom's and now I'm moving on to a new campsite. Permanence is an illusion anyway.

The thing is that I know it's good for me, like cod liver oil or grape flavored Dimetap. I have to take it like a woman and persevere.

Moving is tough, man! I joke how you never know how much you can really hate your stuff until you move it. I have almost nothing now. The place has absorbed what I brought over and it still looks open and inviting, instead of cramped and cluttered.

I've decided that it does take some courage to run away (to Florida, for example) but it takes way more courage to stay. It's hard! I'm here and I'm going to make it work somehow inshahallah. I've got just enough everything: energy, food, money and friends. Alhumdulillah.

If I have to ask for one more thing, it's going to be deeper faith. Inshahallah. Inshahallah. Deeper faith will get me through, inshahallah.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Anon 78
I know exactly how you feel, for someone who has never lived in 1 place for more than 3 years in my whole life. Forcing myself to make MN home was a challenge, but here I am 3 years later and not planning to leave. This is a wonderful state mashallah, the only state that you can wear a big huge jilbab and all black and not have anyone look at you funny
cause they are so used to it by now. Even at my school someone walking into the bathrooms around lunch time they know they will find a line of people waiting to wash their feet as they put im very happy for you