Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Bye Bye Iddah

Crying jags.

Aching legs.

Extra tired.

Migraine headache.


Today, my iddah is O-V-E-R!

Time for another marriage!

Just kidding!

Or...am I?

No, no, no...I'm not ready for that commitment all of a sudden today. While I couldn't get married today, I could work towards it.

I am ready for the slow building of commitment, of love and affection. I want to have support and help around the house. I'm ready to pray together and study Quran together. I'd love to learn more Arabic. I really do want to travel more with yet another foreign man---no Americans for me, sorry. Financially? Oh, wow--SURE! And a man to mentor Mr. Boo? YA!

But, now? This time is different.

I'm not chasing anyone.

I'm not putting myself out there right now.

I'm not putting myself at risk for heartache or mistreatment.

I am who I am.

Currently, I'm overweight by a combined three inches on my waist and hips. Considering that I want a man who is fit, I better get fit myself. I'm working on it...really. Since I've been walking to work, I have firmed up a bit. Also, it helps that I'm eating only a little breakfast and often skip a real lunch.

I'm also a bit shaky on trust.

I'm not flying anywhere. Not leaving to go anywhere. Any man would have to come here to meet us---and would have to accept us as a package deal. I might not even consider moving again. I'd really have to know and love the other city. I'm not sure if I could trust another man out of this area enough to move to his turf.

There is one man who has been waiting for my iddah to be over: Al in Cal. Ladies, take it from me that he is the MOST groovy-looking guy. My friends have seen his pic and all agree on his looks. His faith is better than most. His desire for me and Mr. Boo as his family is sincere. He's intelligent, funny, often kind and understanding.

Sigh...we'll see.

But, I'll tell you something, on the first possible day of getting married again: I'm not jumping into another marriage. I'm not. If another marriage happens, it will unfold and not explode.


egyptchick7 said...

no Americans? Why bc of your first hubby? Big big mistake my dear. As my mom and Anita from West Side Story say " Stick with your own kind!".

Egyptians, Morroccans, arabs...don's think third time's a charm with arabs. Anyway...Holler for the Iddah being over :)

Ummi said...

with all due respect, please don't take this in a bad way, I only mean this in the BEST and nicest way..... don't u think it's a red flag that this new guy didn't want to wait for you to be done with your iddah? seriously Yosra, if you're looking for a good Muslim man who can be a good role model for Mr. Boo, shouldn't u find someone who actually wants to follow the rules of our Islam? Just curious, please don't take that in a bad way, because I write it with the best of intentions....

Yosra said...

Asalamalaykom EgyptChick,

Why no Americans? Just not my type ;) Not attracted to them. Not interested in getting to know them or keeping them around. The thing is that I'm much more attractive for Non-Americans, as well, so it works out.

I'm not a typical American, so "my own kind," is truly a Global Citizen.

Your comment did make me laugh, though. Thanks for bringing musical theatre back to the Muslim blogosphere.

And WHOOT WHOOT! for the "Never-ending Iddah," that finally ended.

Asalamalaykom Umni,

Ya...I know...after awhile you start to question if Mr. Great 4318 is truly great or not. Time will tell---and by time I mean months and months (all the way until June). The best thing is that I'm putting my trust in Allah. If he's not the right one, it will be shown.

He is not used to dealing with the laws of Islam when it comes to women. I will give him that. He wants a Muslim wife now and is just bristling a bit at all what that means. That's like a lot of us---we see the benefits but don't really like the restrictions.

Iddah is done, anyway :) ALHUMDULILLAH.

He waited without bouncing off to any other possibility. He deserves some credit for that.

Thanks for commenting, Umni. You cushioned your words in many layers of bubble-wrap and it arrived without any sharp shards. I was not injured in any way.