Sunday, July 6, 2008

Loving and Leaving

I do think that among Muslims there is more loving, leaving, and returning.
Men and women get engaged and yet do not get married right away. Or, couples meet and postpone being together until they get engaged. Or married couples go for seperation, due to jobs or family matters, while still loving each other.

Then there is our system of divorce, which holds out hope of reconciliation for three months without even the need for a new marriage contract.


It truly amazes me how a man and a woman can love and yet not be together.

I think it has something to do with "the unseen." This is a big part of Islam. We are to believe in that which is intangible. The very air we breathe and need desperately is unseen, as is love, and of course Allah.

Perhaps our religion, with the emphasis on believing that which is invisible to the eye, sustains those of us who contemplate loving and leaving.

One thing that helps me be away from those I love, is visualizing. Actually, visualizing helps me with many, many tough moments in my life. Visualizing is creating the dream in your head as much as you can imagine and then really putting your energy into it.

I visualize that I'm at a party. My kids are there. The older ones are across the room. You wouldn't say that I was away from them, right? I mean, we're at the same party. If the room was 10x12 or whether the room was an enormous ballroom, it would be the same room. I would still be with them. As long as we were under the same ceiling, we would be together, in most people's estimation.

Now, think: how many skies are there? There is only one sky. Subhanallah, I am under the same sky as my kids. There is no real break between us. We are connected; not only by love, but by a shared time and place. Alhumdulillah.
If I have to leave this place, and move even farther away from those I love, I will have to remember that we are still together--truly together.

Love doesn't need a passport to travel around the world.


L_Oman said...

You are in a tough situation and honestly I cannot say what I would do if I were in your shoes. My heart says I'd never go. No way, no how. However, if I were in your shoes...

I wish you true happiness and peace.

Anonymous said...

Do your older kids feel the same as you, that you are all together? Because it seems to me they will feel very abandoned if you go to Saudi for two years.