Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Awaking from a Dream

I woke from a meeting with the principal. You didn't read that wrong. In my dream it was very, very real. The principal was telling me that they had hired a non-Muslim to fill my teaching position and that it had been approved. It started to fight to get my job back, as the kids needed to have a Muslim English teacher. I was passionate and filled with conviction.

That's when I woke.

I called the school and my connection didn't go through.

I always trust that the call shouldn't be made if it didn't go through. I started to get ready for the day...

and maybe to talk with the principal.

I already talked with my husband. You didn't read that wrong either. I am once again by his side, in his house. I moved most of my things yesterday, when my apartment was due to get fumigated. Only Allah knows, but it seemed like a push to get out. I had to be out of there, actually. I could go back, but I don't feel it's right. I am needing to be here, even if it's a bit scary to trust; I just have to remember that I'm trusting Allah and not any man.

My man thinks that Saudi is a great opportunity, and he's right. He knows that I'm certified to teach English overseas and it's something I've always wanted to do. He doesn't want me to ever have regrets. Since coming to Islam, I've wanted to live in a Muslim country and to wake to the azan.

This morning, we woke to the azan clock. Not the same thing, but gets the same results. We got up and prayed together. It was the first prayer back together in the house. Really, I'm praying istakkarah; asking Allah to bring to me whatever is good for me in this life and the next, since He has the power and I do not. He has the knowledge and I do not. Then, I went back to sleep and had that dream.

1 comment:

Faith Confusion said...

I prayed Istakkarah too. I had a bad man taken away from me and then I was given my husband. If I remember that then perhaps I am on the same path. I like the way that you choose direction by things that happen, thinking about whether the phone call went through or not, or you had to get out of your house so you chose to change direction again. I think like that often. I think if it is easy it should be done and if it is too hard then perhaps it was not meant to be. I read once that grass done not try to grow, it just does. That is its purpose. We must not try to be what we are not. I am happy to see that you are not trying to be what you are not.

Again, I love your blog. You are a very interesting subject :)