Tuesday, December 12, 2006

You're Married?!



While I was looking for our marriage certificate last night, I found a poem I'd written.

Seems long ago now, though it was only five years ago when I was asked to be a wife to the man I loved. Just minutes after I agreed, he told me he had children and then that he had a wife.

You died
once over the threshold
with me in your arms
the you I knew ceased to exist.

As the truth came out
I wanted to love you
but I hadn't ever met you;
your lies had never let me in.

I commited to a man who never was.
I made love to a falsehood.
Whispered to a snake, a charlatan, a chameleon.

As the snakeskin shed,
confusion spread:
Who am I if I married a lie?

3 comments:

Marie said...

Sad and beautiful at the same time.

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom,

The whole situation was bittersweet. It was never going to be one without the other. That is why I agreed to be the loser and stop fighting for something which would never be as sweet as honey.

Now? I can honestly say that I'm married to a man I love less than the charmer; the snake/charmer. And I don't miss loving so much that it hurts. A love which hurts isn't really what I need in my life right now.

I need the love which helps and understands. I want fo feel the efforts of two people building something meaningful. And I need a love which is monogamous and founded on a fear of Allah.

Thank you for commenting, Marie. I appreciate the feedback.

Yosra said...

From Mostly Anonymous Halimah:

"Who am I if I married a lie?"

This ...

Me:

Asalamu Alaykom Halimah,

Wishing you peace.

For any woman who understand the feelings in this poem, I wish her peace.

Love and Light

:)