Thursday, December 7, 2006

Dear Yahya Letter

Bismallah a Rahman a Raheem

Dear [Husband],

What else do we need to say to each other? You want to talk, and I agreed, but what is really necessary to say now?

You have left me. You left me before you even went for Egypt. You left me two years ago and sometimes I'd see you come back to your old self. We'd have some fun and share some smiles and laughs and then you'd be gone again. Of course I miss that person I married. I love that person you used to be. If I could have that person back again, I'd never want anything else.

But, you aren't really ever going to be that person again. You have done too much that has hurt me. You have lost my trust and my respect. Each time I try to find those good feelings for you, you simply break me again. I am so broken up over your choices. I have lost you, my kids, my house, my money and, if I'm not careful, I'll lose my faith.

I can’t give any more.

You have taken all I have to give. You are greedy to keep asking for more all the time. I have to stop---for my sake and for the baby's. I have to leave the marriage. I never wanted to do that. I wanted to be by your side forever. I loved you completely without question. I put my life in your hands. You mistreated me again and again. You lied again and again. You stole from me and robbed me of my sense of worth. I am worthy of so much more.

Please let your family know that I will always love them and I will do my best to keep the baby close to them. The same is true for you. Of course, I feel sad for the baby. I never would have had him if I'd known how you would become.

Let's start the divorce now, before you get back. There's no need to try anything else. No matter what you said, I wouldn't believe you anymore. I don't say that in anger, but in sadness. It is so sad to loose the one you love. But, since you don't love me anymore, I doubt you are sad.

I will help to get the items exported to Egypt and that will be my last job for [our export company's name]. Funny name: [our export company's name]. I picked it from where we met so long ago. You used to think I was beautiful. You used to love my eyes. You stopped. You stopped everything. You can't blame me. You can only blame yourself.

I never sent this letter. Some letters you never send.


Faith Confusion said...

love this.

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom Faith Confu,

In a strange way, it's good to have you reading these now. I do think that a lot of what I went through is universal--unfortunately.

Duchess said...

indeed some letters are never sent